I am the student who has changed my major quite a few times (3 to be exact!) Since my younger years, I have always had a harder time than the other kids trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up!
Of course, having that stress as a child is nothing compared to the stress that is revealed once you reach college. People are constantly asking "What's your major?" and "What do you plan on doing after school?" My answer was always: "I feel like God is leading me (fill in the blank)."
The real, honest truth...
I. DON'T. KNOW.
Up until this summer, I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do with my life after college.
This fact caused me anxiety, stress, uncertainty, and shame. Everyone else around me knew their plan, had it all figured out. I felt as though others were judging me, thinking, "she should know what she wants to do by now." I felt utterly inadequate.
At the time, I was completely ignorant of God's truth about my life:
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those God and are called according to his purpose for them." // Romans 8:28
How could I forget this promise? The one that I had spent years resonating on and taking comfort in during those hard times.
And then I realized,
THIS IS OKAY.
It is okay for us to not know what we are going to do or accomplish or experience in our future.
That's the beauty of it. That's the adventure that God invites us to go on with Him. The mystery of His omniscience is one of the reasons for why He is so worthy of worship.
It all comes down to this:
WE MUST TRUST GOD.
Without giving our whole life and trust to God, we will have nothing. He is everything.
"Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." // Psalm 25:4-5
Since I have put my trust in Him, God has filled me with passion for writing and has called me into that field, whatever may be the result of it. Trusting Him is always the best option, I promise.
Is it possible to cry so much that you run out of your own tears? I hope so, because I feel as though I should have run out by now.
College is really taking a toll on me this semester. I am extremely homesick and would do anything to make my anxiety-induced pain go away. And I have been crying constantly for a number of reasons: physical pain, emotional trauma, my anxiety, missing my family, and calling out to God.
I am not writing all of this because I want pity, but I want to encourage anyone who is going through a similar situation.
THIS PAIN WILL END.
I promise. God promises. He will be there for you always no matter what you're going through! This is a time--for me--that will allow me to draw closer to my Savior because He is the only source of life I have right now. He is reason I am not wallowing in deep depression. He is my joy and my peace!
So I encourage all of you to trust in God, whatever situation you're in at this very moment! That
pain demands to be felt in order for growth to be evident. God will be your comfort and your strength. Seek Him, and you will find Him. He loves you, and He is waiting for you.
"Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you." || 1 Peter 5:7
I would really appreciate prayers for my transition to college life and being away from my family. Please pray that God will give me strength to pull through and not take the easy way out. Thank you!
{Notice the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban reference in the title!}
If you have lived on this earth for any amount of time, you know that plans change. It's an inevitable fact that unfortunately sends my mind into a whirling chaos. I have the OCD personality that overreacts when big changes occur (pray for me!). For whatever reason, my ignorant brain doesn't seem to learn that nothing happens according to plan. Maybe you have this issue too? Or it might be just me.
Recently, I have had to make a decision that would change the path of my life while also forcing my comfort out of the picture. I have always been passionate about writing and I knew it was something I wanted to make a living at, but I allowed myself to conform to the safety of keeping my history major instead of switching. A part of me had an unsettling feeling, but I chose to ignore it. That feeling emerged again when my fiance and I talked about what I was called to do, which terrified me. Throughout the conversation, I became nervous and began questioning everything. It wasn't until he declared that he thought changing my major to writing would be best for me that my mind slowed down. In that moment, it was like God made the answer perfectly clear: pursue a career of writing.
Now I am in the stressful process of dropping and adding classes to fit my new major, which I have yet to change! To me, this whole thing is crazy. I am learning to trust God like never before, so I'm grateful I took this opportunity, bravely.
Trusting in the Lord is a powerful thing that will take any unexpected plans and put them into perspective, into His plan. While it is difficult to surrender your life to God, He promises nothing but blessings in return. You might not have the picture perfect life, but you do have a perfect Savior who make it all worth it.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." || Proverbs 3:5
I just need to write about books today. So, here goes nothing.
All of my life I have reads books. From The Magic Tree House to Harry Potter to Crazy Love, I have always been turning the pages. I seriously need a new bookshelf because mine is about to fall over and crush me in my sleep.
Of course, there have been times when I get bored with reading and stop, but then I realize how much I miss it. There have also been times when I stall in the middle of a book and wind up taking 6 months to finish it. Sometimes I don't even finish books.
Though I seem to have mixed emotions about them, I can't get enough of books! They influence my life in countless ways every day. They allow me to escape into worlds where everything is different, for a change. Others teach me about relationships and history and people of this world and God.
The thing is, I always find my way back to books. It's kinda like my relationship with God. Or exactly the same. Yeah, it's the same.
It is really really easy to stray away from God, especially when life becomes stagnant. We find that it makes sense to praise God during times of blessings, but what do we do when life becomes tough? I know what I do (most of the time): complain to God. I stop communing with Him, and I lose focus on the path He has laid before me.
The time comes, typically, when I miss God (even though He never left). The cycle continues with a "good enough" relationship, and life goes on, until the same events happen again. Does this sound familiar to you?
Well, I know I am tired of this routine. I want to live relentlessly for God and seek His face every day without complaining or laziness. I desire to glorify Him in my relationships, how I take care of myself, my school, my writing, and every little thing. I want to show others His love and His light, no matter what comes my way. I want to be wholly surrendered to Christ, above all else.
Right now, I am changing the way I live. No more "normal" living. I will be bold. I will take a stand. I will be brave for Jesus.
Will you join me? Will you break out of the norm and run to the Lord?
{He will use you just as you are, I have no doubt.}
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." || Jeremiah 29:13
I want to be brave.
I don't want to be afraid to step out.
I don't want my fears to hold me back from doing something monumental.
The truth is, this is harder than it seems. Unfortunately, worry is something that all of us deal with, and to be honest, it sucks. Like a lot.
Before we can commit to anything, we were taught to make a list of pros and cons that will eventually lead us to the right decision. Is this the right way to do this? Isn't this just a form of worrying that God tells us not to do?
I am a nervous person in general, so when I think about myself doing anything with boldness, my body cringes, while a rush of anxiety tenses me.
Most of the time, I fail to realize that God has freely given us His Holy Spirit for these exact situations.
The Spirit is meant to lead us in the ways of the Father, so we will not be led astray. All we need to do is ask.
This almost seems too simple. Like, "God, are you sure you don't want be to be at a certain level of Christianity before you put the Holy Spirit inside of me?"
The answer to this question is "no." After we have been reconciled with God, He sees us as His Son: perfect and blameless. He gladly desires to fill us with His living Spirit.
"So after we receive the Spirit, the worry is gone?"
Again, no. We will always be tempted to worry in all circumstances. In those moments, when we are about to cave in, we must call on the Spirit to lead us away from sin and toward righteousness. He will never fail us.
Of course, being sinful creatures, we will have the times when we fail, but we shouldn't be doubtful of the Spirit, because He forgives us! We have unending forgiveness in not only the Father and Jesus, but also in the Spirit.
Be brave. Be brave in the Spirit of the Lord, who formed every part of you. He's worth it.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. || Oceans
Simplicity. This word has been fluttering around in my brain for the past couple of days more often than normal, so I have to ask the question: "Does eternal life require that we all live earthly life the same way: successful and smart?"
I feel as though the obvious and most common answer to this question is "no," however most of the people in society live in conformity. It saddens me because God created us all to be different. Everyone wants to achieve the "American dream," complete with success, financial stability, a college degree, a nice house, and a comfortable living.
What if none of this was important?
Yes, I am asking that question. The hardest question of them all.
"We don't want to live an uncomfortable life."
"We need those nice things because that's what everyone else has, they make life easier."
"It's not a sin to possess stuff, they are blessings from God."
Well, what if God wants us to be uncomfortable?
What if He desires us to have a more challenging life?
What if He wants us to focus more on Him than on our earthly possessions?
To be honest, the answers to these questions are already known. You can find them in the Word that was personally given to you by the Lord.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2)
"Then [Jesus] said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" (Luke 9:23)
"Jesus looked at him and loved him. 'One thing you lack,' he said. 'Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' At this, the man's face fell. He went away sad because he has great wealth." (Mark 10: 21-22)
God has called every one of His children to be divergent within the culture and society of the world today. It is a difficult change that will test your faith and trust in God, but isn't it worth it? Isn't it worth serving Jesus and becoming the hands and feet of His Church?
Living simply is something that I have been wanting to pursue for a few months but have kept putting off. I want to desperately rid my life of the unnecessary junk that is weighing me down every day. I want to own a minimal amount of stuff.
The less I own in my life, the more Christ will own my life.
Hopefully, this will become a passion to me that will allow me to glorify God more with my life. I pray you will be motivated to do the same, giving Jesus your earthly possessions.
{Have you ever just stopped to think? For a moment? For a minute? For an hour? Not thinking while accomplishing tasks, but genuinely pondering. It's a sensation that will leave you feeling raw and vulnerable and somewhat confused. This generates creativity and a sense of closeness to God that only comes through reflective stillness.}
Thinking like this can lead to so many others pathways in the brain, they are too numerous to count. The mind God created you with is amazingly complex and sometimes incomprehensible. Every person's mind works differently, displaying God's idea of our uniqueness.
Just think...God has His own thoughts! His thoughts about you outnumbered the grains of sand (Psalm 139). How often do you think about your Creator? The one who made your mind.... do you even give Him a second thought? Do you think more about how you look or what's for dinner or your math homework? Or is your mind consumed with thoughts of lust or hate or selfishness?
Of course, we can't control our minds on our own; that would be impossible! However, everything is possible with God.
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."
Philippians 4:8, NLT
Through surrendering our thoughts to God, we will be free of the bondage sin has on our mind. We will be free to ponder over beautiful things and stories and love and family and serving. Then will we truly be able to wander a state of mind that is ours. A state of mind that God had in mind from the beginning.
